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ARTICLES WITHIN THIS TOPIC
- HEALING
THROUGH LETTING TO
- YOUR
NEW BEGINNING
-
- LETTING
GO OF UNAVAILABLE PEOPLE (not a duplicate article)
-
- TIPS
ON GETTING OVER A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP (surviving it)
-
- 10
SIGNS IT’S TIME TO BREAK UP
- HEAL
YOUR HURT
- GETTING
DUMPED IN A RELATIONSHIP?
- STRESS
REDUCTION
- The link for the title below can be found on the 'LINKS' page and is downloadable. 6 KEYS FOR HEALING AFTER LEAVING A PAINFUL RELATIONSHIP
** For many more articles on this topic click on the link below. If the link doesn't work, copy the URL and paste it into your browser.
http://puh.jommies22.tripod.com/id12.html
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11-12-05
Healing Through Letting Go
Letting Go. Releasing. Moving on. These are words that come to mind when holding on to the status quo becomes too painful
or takes too much energy.
Even when we're ready, it's seldom easy to let go. But when we do, both we and the other person can become the people
we were meant to be ~loving without feeling we must control or be dependent on the other for our happiness.
The healing and release we feel when we're finally able to truly let go can't happen, however, until we allow a shift
to occur within us, until we're ready for a new way of looking at things, a perspective that is expressed very well in the
poem called "What is Letting Go?"
To "let go" does not mean to stop caring. It means I can't do it for someone else.
To "let go" is not to cut myself off. It's the realization that I can't control another.
To "let go" is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another. It's to make the most of myself.
To "let go" is not to care for, but to care about.
To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To "let go" is not to be in the middle, arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own
destinies.
To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept.
To "let go" is not to nag, scold, or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in
it.
To "let go" is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To "let go" is to fear less and to love more.
~ Author Unknown
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11-19-05
Your New Beginning
By Phyllis V. Du'Gas
Posted: Thursday, March 24, 2005
Could you use a new beginning?
Perhaps you need to adjust to the fact that a cherished hope may not have met with reality. Count your blessings
and remain hopeful. Sometimes bad news is good news. That person you didn't 'connect' with -God has someone better in mind
for you. Hold on! That job you lost - rest up and remain prayerful -your dream job is on the way!
Perhaps you're supercharged with a new plan. Let your enthusiasm for tomorrow take over any misgivings or regrets
from the past. Stop resisting - it's time for your new beginning!
Perhaps you need to do some inner work - deep soul searching. It's essential to have knowledge of self. To
know who you are. To know what you stand for, and what you plan on becoming when you're all grown up. As children of God
- we may think we're grown, but we still have to answer to Him. Open your spirit and your heart to the voice of reason.
It's time for your new beginning!
Perhaps you need to turn off the voices in your head and simply make a decision. Indecision is keeping you
from getting where you need to be. Sometimes you have to change your routine. Sometimes you have to look at what your life
has become and not accept less than what you want - and what God wants for you. Get connected - renew your mind. It's time
for your new beginning!
Let me tell you something - while you're sitting around waiting for something to happen, someone else is
going out and making something happen. It's tiring, and the challenges wear you down to the point where you don't know if
you can take it anymore. Realize that God is trying to take you to a new place in your struggles!
If we have to struggle - why not struggle towards something greater. Don't struggle because you feel your life
is not the way you want it to be. Struggle to make your life what you and God want it to be. We get it twisted sometimes.
Realize today that all things can be changed - even if they feel immovable. Heartache, job conflicts and loss,
finances, addictions, illness, family disputes .....whatever it is - All things can be changed!
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11-20-05
Letting Go of Unavailable People
By Robert Burney
"In our disease defense system we build up huge walls to protect ourselves and then - as soon as we meet someone
who will help us to repeat our patterns of abuse, abandonment, betrayal, and/or deprivation - we lower the drawbridge and
invite them in. We, in our Codependence, have radar systems which cause us to be attracted to, and attract to us, the people,
who for us personally, are exactly the most untrustworthy (or unavailable or smothering or abusive or whatever we need to
repeat our patterns) individuals - exactly the ones who will "push our buttons."
This happens because those people feel familiar. Unfortunately in childhood the people whom we trusted the most -
were the most familiar - hurt us the most. So the effect is that we keep repeating our patterns and being given the reminder
that it is not safe to trust ourselves or other people .
Once we begin healing we can see that the Truth is that it is not safe to trust as long as we are reacting out of
the emotional wounds and attitudes of our childhoods. Once we start Recovering, then we can begin to see that on a Spiritual
level these repeating behavior patterns are opportunities to heal the childhood wounds."
"I spent most of my life being the victim of my own thoughts, my own emotions, my own behaviors. I was consistently
picking untrustworthy people to trust and unavailable people to love. I could not trust my own emotions because I was incapable
of being honest with myself emotionally - which made me incapable of Truly being honest on any level."
(All quotes in this color are from Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls)
Codependency is an incredibly insidious, treacherous dis-ease. It is a compulsively reactive condition in which our
ego programming from childhood dictates how we live our lives today. As long as we are not in recovery from our codependency,
we are powerless to make clear choices in discerning rather someone we are attracted to is a available for a healthy relationship
- we are in fact, doomed to keep repeating patterns.
Emotionally we are drawn to people who feel familiar on an energetic level. That is, people who, on an emotional
vibrational level, resonate with us as being familiar. It feels to us as if we have a strong connection to those people.
In other words, we have an inner radar system that causes us to be attracted to people who resonate vibrationally in a way
that is familiar on an emotionally intimate level. We are attracted to people whose inner emotional dynamic is similar to
our most powerful and earliest experience of emotional intimacy and love - our parents.
No matter how much we are making an effort on a conscious level to not pick anyone like our parents, energetically
we feel a strong attraction to people whose inner emotional dynamic is similar to our first experience of love. It was very
important for me to get aware of the reality that if I met someone who felt like my soul mate, I had better watch out. Those
are exactly the people who will fit my patterns - recreate my wounding.
It was very important for me to recognize the power of this type of attraction. And also to realize, that on a Spiritual
level, these people were teachers who were in my life to help me get in touch with my childhood wounds. It was vital for
me to start being aware that if I met someone who felt like my soul mate it did not mean we were going to live happily ever
after. What it meant was that I was being given another wonderful, and painful, opportunity for growth.
Becoming conscious of these emotional energetic dynamics was a very important part of owning my power. My power to
make choices, to accept consequences, to take responsibility for my choices and consequences - and to not buy into the belief
that I was being victimized by the other person, or my own defectiveness.
Recognizing unavailability in the other person does not mean that I have to let go of the relationship - at least
not immediately, it could be something I will decide to do eventually.
What is so important, is to let go of focusing on that person as the cause of, or solution to, my problems. As long
as we are focusing on the other person and buying into the illusion that if we just: work a little harder; lose some more
weight; make some more money; do and/or say the right things; whatever; that person will change and be everything we want
them to be.
Codependents focus on others to keep from looking at self. We need to let go of focusing on the other person and
start focusing inside to understand what is happening. Our adult patterns, the people we have been in relationship with,
are symptoms - effects of our childhood wounding. We cannot solve a problem without looking at the cause. Focusing on symptoms
(which our society is famous for: war on drugs; war on poverty: etc.) will not heal the cause.
The reason that we get involved with people who are unavailable, is because we are unavailable. We are attracted
to people who feel familiar because on some level we are still trying to prove our worth by earning the Love and respect of
our unavailable parents. We think we are going to rescue the other person which will prove our worth - or that we need them
to rescue us because of our lack of worth. The princess will kiss me and turn me from a frog into a prince, the prince will
rescue me and take me to live in the castle, syndrome.
We need to own our own worth - our own "Prince or Princess" ness - before we can be available for a healthy
relationship with some one who has owned their own worth.
It is not possible to love someone enough to get them to stop hating, and being unavailable, to them self. We need
to let go of that delusion. We need to focus on healing our self - on understanding and healing the emotional wounds that
have driven us to pick people who could not give us what we want emotionally. We need to develop some healthy emotional intimacy
with ourselves before we are capable of being available for a healthy relationships with someone who is also available.
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11-21-05
Tips on Getting Over a Long-Term
Relationship Breakups
It is always difficult moving on after a long term relationship ends. There is a great deal
of pain and emotion left, stuck right inside your gut, and memories that just don't seem to fade. Every time you try to move
on something seems to remind you of your ex, and at times it feels like you can never quite get over it. The ghosts of a former
relationship can haunt you, but there are definite ways to move forward and into a new relationship.
The first thing
to do is to rearrange the look of your environment, so your physical surroundings seem fresh. This is especially true after
a marriage or live-in relationship. A completely new apartment is ideal, but rearranging the old one sometimes has to do.
Redesign your place, take down old photos, take down things you may have bought together. If there are things that specifically
remind you of your ex, remove them, put them in a box or, if you can, throw them out.
After you have rearranged your
physical environment, you need to get involved in an activity all your own; something in which your ex has demonstrated no
particular interest. Taking a class, joining a gym or an organization are great ideas. Do something new, just for you, something
that can take you way from the painful thoughts of the past.
Keeping active socially is great, if you can do it. Go
out with friends as much as possible, go out to a movie by yourself. Anything that can get you away from your thoughts of
your ex, even if it is just temporary relief. Over time, these activities and distractions will give you the distance you
need.
Stay away from pop music. Sounds silly, but most songs are about failed love or some existing passion and while
at times they can make you feel less alone, most songs will just get you thinking about your past. For the time being switch
to classical music or jazz, maybe even talk radio.
Give it some time. Unfortunately, it does often take some time
to move on. You will have your ups and downs, but you will be able to move on eventually. You need to force yourself not to
dwell on the past. This is easier said than done, but every minute you spend dwelling on the past is actually wasted. It is
ok to feel blue and think about the past for a bit, but you need to limit this by forcing yourself to stop. Get out and do
something, anything.
Finally, remember thinking about the past is good for three things: Getting in touch with your
emotions, bringing back some positive memories and most important, being able to learn from these experiences. You can only
move forward, not back, so get going!
....Note from me: about the music I've placed
here ~ ooops
This article points out that not listening to music that depresses you, or reminds you of past issues
that you are still healing from is an excellent point.
I am very much moved by certain music and tend to make very
strong associations between situations and the lyrics and/or the music. While experiencing some of my own lifes issues, I
found that I wasn't able to listen to certain music that was a trigger for setting off some meloncholy...and so I didn't.
I DID switch to listening to 'different' music, but that wasn't really effective for me. *Because* it WAS different only served
to point out 'why' I listening to different music to begin with. What was best for me was no music at all.
If you
find the music here bothersome, turn your volume off. Many of the pieces here were once ones I couldn't listen to for the
longest time. With most,I can easily do so, however, there are few that still make me ...well, you know...so those I don't
listen to. :) I suppose it all depends how far along in your process you are. I would suggest instrumentals though...some
of the lyrics in songs are just too difficult to hear...again, depending where you are in the process of letting go. PDPJ
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11-21-05
10 Signs It's Time to Break
Up
Sometimes, good things end. That's just the way life is. Sometimes, bad things continue due to neglect or fear.
This ISN'T the way life should be!
I continue to tell people, the problem isn't that there are too many divorces -
there are too many marriages! So many people hook up with partners that are (or become) unhealthy for them, then find that
they can't bring themselves to break it off - sometimes out of fear of being alone, sometimes through convincing by their
friends or family, sometimes through concern of how they will look, sometimes through simple neglect, etc.
When should
a relationship break up? Simple: when it no longer provides benefit to one or both partners. In other words, if you aren't
getting what you want or need from being with someone, or if you recognize that your partner isn't getting what they want
or need it's time to move on.
I've had some people say to me, 'Isn't that a little selfish- what about the person
you're dumping?' To this I answer, 'How can it be good for someone to stay with a person that doesn't want to be with him
or her?' After all, how low does your self-esteem (let alone your self-respect) have to be to want to do this? It is by far
much healthier to go about finding the relationship that works for you - that gives you what you need, than to apathetically
cling to something that isn't fulfilling. Life is too short for this, and you deserve better.
So, how do you know
when to break off your relationship? Here are 10 signs to watch for. Note that most people encounter one, two or more of these
things periodically. However if you're finding that you experience more than a few consistently,over a longer period,it't
probably time to move on:
10. You no longer look forward to spending time alone with your partner.
You may
still have a good sex life (or not!) but actually talking to your partner seems like a chore. If spending time alone with
your partner seems like a prison sentence you may be up for a parole.
9. You begin comparing your partner to others.
This is particularly true when other people seem more appealing to you. We all find others - often those 'we don't
have' attractive. If however, you find that you're comparing specific traits - a person's voice, their neatness, the way they
carry themselves, etc., against others; especially things your partner can't change - you should re-evaluate your relationship.
8. You criticize or 'micro-manage' your partner
If you're always concerned that your partner's socks aren't
exactly right for his pants, or that she wears too much make-up, or that he or she just can't seem to take their responsibilities
seriously, don't look at them - look at yourself. People that are in love tend to look beyond minor annoyances to the bigger
picture. If you're having trouble doing this you may want to work on your exit plan.
7. You start trying to change
your partner
Many people fall in love with people that excite them, but find that this excitement isn't good for them
in the long term. On the other hand, they may find someone 'stable' that doesn't provide enough variety in their relationship.
If you find that you're constantly trying to convert your partner from the person you fell in love with, it may be time to
bolt.
6. You re-connect with ex lovers
It's one thing to send an ex-girlfriend a birthday card. It is entirely
another to take her out for dinner and a movie 'just to catch up The trick here is to be honest about your motivations. If
you had the chance to sleep with him or her, would you? Are you looking for approval or an ego-boost from him or her? Have
you forgotten why you broke up in the first place?
5. His or her jokes are no longer funny
Of course, you
may have heard them 1,000 times, but people in love tend to look beyond this repetitiveness. They see that their partner is
being humorous, not how funny something is or isn't.
4. You're doing all the giving - or all the getting
Relationships
are about mutual benefit. If one partner is benefiting over the other, the relationship isn't healthy. This doesn't mean that
everything should be exactly balanced. For example, just because one partner spends $50 on a birthday present, that the other
should spend exactly that amount. Nor does it mean that both partners should always split a dinner check. If one person pays
all the time, and the other doesn't at least cook a few meals, there is something wrong and unhealthy about the relationship.
3. You constantly find ways to include others in your activities
Always including others indicates that you're
not looking forward to being alone with your partner. Of course, you need time with your friends, but if you never have private
time, or the only time you're alone is when you're having sex, perhaps the problem is in the company.
2. Your friends
no longer like being around you when you're with your partner
Your friends don't have to dislike your partner , perhaps
they don't like what affect your partner has one YOU! Consider that your relationship with your friends is at least as important
in the long run as your relationship with your partner. In fact, it may be MORE important as they will see you as you really
are, and will be there even if he or she isn't - IF you treat them right!
1. You no longer feel good about yourself
At first, this seems like a strange warning sign about your relationship, but think about how you felt when you first
hooked up with your partner. You felt great - about yourself and your world. If this is now lacking where it was there before,
you may want to look at your relationship.
books : Are you considering leaving a relationship or getting a divorce?
Here's how to make the best decision possible about Whether to Stay in or leave your relationship... ***Should You Stay or
Should You Go?
*** I purchased this online book for my daughter several years ago.
She said it was very useful and informative. I placed a link (on the 'LINK' page for you to download a copy if you wish to
do so. PDPJ
I have found the effective 4-Step "strategy" to help you survive the relationship crisis,
heal your broken heart and bring back your love. That is called Bring Back the Love of Your Life! I highly recommend it. See
what you think... Bring Back the Love of Your Life! ( I have no knowledge of this book. PDPJ)
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11-21-05
Heal Your Hurt
Healing your hurt is important because this is what restores your peace of mind.
It also restores your creativity and your ability to see what needs to be done.
There are two aspects of the healing process. First, you need to be willing to feel your hurt like a child. This is what
releases the emotion.
Second, you need to find and dismantle the inner mechanism that creates your hurt in the first place. We'll talk more
about this in the next section.
To begin the healing process, lets talk about feeling your hurt.
When you were born, you were created with the natural ability to heal hurt.
Look at little children. Little children are masters at healing hurt. When a child feels hurt, the child cries. Then,
after the child finishes crying, the hurt is all gone.
Little children are able to release their hurt because they do something that we don't notice. They allow their hurt.
They are totally willing to feel all their feelings and emotions.
This is the natural process for healing hurt. Hurt is just a feeling. When you allow the feeling to take its course, the
feeling quickly comes and goes.
Unfortunately, we have been taught to do the opposite. Instead of allowing our hurt, we have been taught to fight it.
"Big boys and girls don't cry. If you want something to cry about, I'll give you something to cry about."
You soon learn to avoid your hurt. This then circumvents the natural healing process.
Instead of allowing the feelings and letting them go, you fight the feelings and keep them inside.
You try to push the hurt away, but you can't. The hurt isn't outside of you, it's inside. So, in your attempt to push
the hurt away, you actually push the hurt deeper inside. You then spend the rest of your life running from this suppressed
hurt.
The irony is that no matter what you do to avoid your hurt, you can't get away from it. You will continue to experience
these feelings whether you like it or not.
When you are hurt, you are hurt. You don't have a choice whether you are going to feel it. You will. Your only choice
is this: Are you going to allow yourself to feel your hurt like a child and let it go, or are you going to fight your hurt
and keep it inside?
If you allow the hurt, the feelings disappear. If you fight the hurt, the feelings turn into pain and then stay. To see
this in your life, find a time when you were hurt and you allowed yourself to cry. Then, after you cried your last tear, you
felt a wonderful freedom. This is a time when you allowed your hurt.
Now find a time when you were hurt and hated it. You hated your circumstances and you hated your hurt. Notice that this
hurt was very painful and seemed to stay forever.
The key to releasing your hurt is to be willing to experience it. Keep telling yourself, "It's okay to feel the hurt.
It's okay." Let the hurt come and let the hurt go. Cry if you can.
Crying is the most powerful tool for releasing hurt.
If the hurt is there but you don't feel any tears, fake it. Fake the crying until you get into the emotion. Then experience
all the hurt as deeply as you can.
You may notice certain thoughts as you cry: "Why did she do this?" "Why can't she love me." Let the
thoughts guide your crying. Cry each thought. Then move to the next one.
Reach in and grab all the hurt you can. Experience it fully like a child. Then, when the hurt is fully experienced, it
disappears.
If the hurt doesn't release, or if it keeps coming back, you have found the primary hurt that runs your life.
Ultimately, you are fighting the hurt of feeling worthless, not good enough, a failure, not worth loving or some other
form of being not okay. It's not the truth that you are this way, it's just an old hurt.
In a subconscious attempt to avoid this hurt, you interact in a way that destroys love and sabotages every aspect of your
life. The avoidance of this hurt is responsible for all your suffering and all your self-sabotaging behavior.
Finding and healing this hurt is literally one of the most important things you can ever do.
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11-21-05
Getting Dumped in a Relationship?
Surviving a Breakup Guide
Maybe you knew it was coming. Maybe you didn't. You've been dumped.
So, other than
moping around in your pajamas, spending quality time with Ben & Jerry, what can you do? Well, clear away that mountain
of soggy tissues, and I'll tell you how to get through the worst of it, the first 30 days.
Three things: Take care
of yourself. Give yourself time to mourn. Move forward.
The first 48 hours.
The first 48 hours are the toughest. Give
yourself at least one full weekend to cry your eyes out, eat junk food and lie around on your couch in a broken-heart coma
watching sappy movies or a kung-fu marathon. Try to throw a few comedies into the mix if you can, laughter is good for you.
If you want to be alone now, be alone. If you want to be with friends, by all means, invite them to console you. Whatever
you do, don't call your ex. Don't e-mail your ex. Don't see your ex. Turn your answering machine on and screen your calls.
I'm not saying you should never talk to your ex again, but give yourself at least a month or so to build up your ego again.
If you think you might be tempted, by all means, invite a friend over to run defense and keep you away from the phone. Next,
force yourself to think of the relationship as over. I know that's tough right now, but it truly is necessary. Grieve for
what it was, and consider it dead and gone.
The first week.
After your first 48 hours, it is important to get
off the couch and take a shower. Not just for hygiene reasons, (but trust me, by this time you'll really need it) but because
it's now time to start taking action. Take down all photos that include your ex. If you need to have a ceremonial snapshot
torching, by all means, go ahead. Put all reminders of your ex (letters, gifts, photos, etc.) in a box and stuff it way in
the back of your closet, or better yet, your garage - someplace you won't see it on a regular basis. If you feel yourself
starting to idealize your ex, and feel the desire to call him or her, sit down immediately and make a list of all the things
about your ex that really annoyed you - the more humorous, the better. Think hard, I know there's something.
The way
he gave the exact same 22-minute response to every single person who asked how his job was going for three solid years.
The
psycho-squirrel noises she made when she laughed.
The cheap, ugly, green, plastic phone he gave you for Christmas.
The
way she tried to hold in her sneezes, producing that imploding, snorty noise instead.
Whatever you do, don't call
your ex. Start returning to your normal life. Take an extra 20 minutes with your appearance this week. Sure, you may not feel
like getting dressed at all, but trust me, if you look good, you'll feel even better. Wear something that makes you feel stunning
or confident. Nothing smoothes the ragged edges of a recent break-up like a few well-timed compliments. If your weekend on
the couch still shows in your face, put some tea bags on your eyelids.
Make plans with friends for every Friday and
Saturday night for the next month, and stick to them. Get out and go dancing. It may be the last thing you feel like doing,
but you'll find it's a fabulous release. The music and physical activity will make you feel tons better. Speaking of which,
exercise four times this week. Yeah, I know you won't feel like it, but do it anyway. You need those happy endorphins that
exercise brings. Do a little bonding with your pals. Go to a basketball game, or even bowling. Just get out of the house.
One last thing for this week, schedule a massage. You need it!
The second week.
Whatever you do, don't call your
ex. Make a detailed list of all your good qualities. Remember, you're a unique, wonderful, person, and someone (probably several
someones) will fall madly in love with you, and you with them. Keep your plans with friends every weekend, and by all means,
do something physical, or humorous, like going to a comedy club. Work out (three times this week, and for the rest of the
break-up survival period), go rock climbing, or dance like the Backstreet Boys in your living room (nobody will see you.)
Get your heart rate going. Aside from making your body look good, you'll boost your mood as well. This week is all about pampering
yourself. Get a pedicure, or sit in the sauna. You've been through a lot, and you deserve it.Spend some of your newfound time
(and probably extra cash, too) on something just for you. Guys, you may be feeling the need for some type of electronic device
you've been putting off. Now is the time. Girls, all I can say is, SHOE SHOPPING! Treat yourself to a little something nice
this week, and every week for the rest of the month.
The last two weeks. Whatever you do, don't call your ex. You're
halfway through the black period, and the worst is over. This is when you'll start easing back into your pre-girl/pre-guy
routine. Be a little selfish with your time, and do exactly what you want to do. You should be focusing on taking care of
yourself right now. Now is also the time to start making long-range plans. Make two plans: One plan for a vacation (even if
it's three years away,) and one plan for your life. You have a clean slate, what do you want to do? Go back to school? Become
a rock star? Learn how to make crawfish traps? No one is holding you back now. Write down your goals, and the steps you'll
need to take to reach them.
Holy Moly! Before you know it, the entire month has gone by. You're through the thick
of it now, and on the road to recovery. Sure, you'll hit some bumps along the way, but you'll live through this. You've made
it this far, and you'll be a stronger, wiser person because of it. Someday, you'll meet someone who will love and appreciate
you for the amazing person you are. And this break-up, which is so awful now, will just be one forgotten U- turn on your path
to true love.
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11-26-05
Stress Reduction
Content:
* What are sources of stress?
o Individual personality characteristics that can induce stress
o Interpersonal
issues that can induce stress
o System issues that can induce stress
* Is all stress bad?
* What is the definition
of stress?
* What is the stress/relaxation physical response cycle?
* Personal life events analysis
* What is
personal progressive relaxation?
* Relaxation training technique
* A full breathing exercise
What are sources
of stress?
Change of any kind can induce stress because of:
* fear of the new, the unknown
* feelings of personal
insecurity
* feelings of vulnerability
* fear of rejection
* need for approval
* lack of tolerance for ambiguity
* fear of conflict
* fear of taking a risk
* fear of developing trust
* fear of inability to cope with changed
circumstances
Individual personality characteristics that can induce stress
Individual personality characteristics
that can induce stress include:
* low self-esteem
* feelings of over-responsibility
* fear of loss of control
* fear of failure, error, mistakes
* fear of being judged
* lack of belief in ``being good enough''
* chronic
striving to be ``perfect''
* chronic guilt
* unresolved grief over a loss or a series of losses
* chronic anger,
hostility, or depression
Interpersonal issues that can induce stress include:
* a lack of adequate support
within the relationship
* a lack of healthy communication within the relationship
* a sense of competitiveness between
the parties involved
* threats of rejection or disapproval between people
* an inability to be appropriately assertive
* struggle for power and control in the relationship
* poor intimacy or sexuality within the relationship
* chronic
conflict and disagreement with no healthy resolution
* over dependency of one party on another
* a troubled person
who refuses to recognize the need for help
For more information on this & related topics:
http://www.coping.org/growth/stress.htm
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